crackersinmysoup's posterous

Football

Dear readers, It has been awhile. Life got ahold of me but I'm back! Today I have a message for all the graduating seniors of 2012. I was at my brothers final football game two Fridays ago. It was the second game of the play offs. The team knew they were going to lose. And lose they did. They were crushed. As was my brother. I didnt understand these feelings at first until I realized...this was his LAST game EVER. He won't get to play in college. No more football. Ever. I then started reminiscing about my senior year and the memories began to come back. Some good. Some bad. And then I thought about my college life now. A smirk came to my face as did a few tears. It was hard to see my brother upset but all I can say to that is:life, my little brother, goes on. Football may be over but so many things are just beginning. For one....all of you seniors out there....your life is just starting. It may feel like your world is over as I know it's hard to see past the weekend but I assure you, you will be fine. Look forward to the next level. College and all is expenses. Figuring out your life. But most of all, class of 2012, enjoy the ride. Sit back, relax, enjoy. Take a deep breath. Nobody said it was going to be easy. But man is it going to be one heck of a ride.

Pain

Dear readers,

Forgive me...I know this post isn't going to be a typical one.

I was always told as a child to remember that everyone is fighting an inner battle and that some people are very good at masking their pain. With this being said have you ever stopped and asked yourself "what is this person going through?" when you meet someone you don't know?

I'll admit that I haven't always kept that thought in mind when I met someone who I thought was rude or snippy or even down right mean.

However, lately, I haven't been able to stop thinking that way.

I am the type of person who is good at masking their pain but only for so long before it all comes pouring out of me like hot water from a tea pot.

Its made me wonder who else is this way? What if I smiled at the the man who slammed the door in my face? Listened to the woman who yells in anger because shes angry about the prices of goods? What if I was just THERE for a complete stranger while they unleashed their inner pain?

Lately I cannot help but wonder who else is masking pain. Hiding pain. I know I'm not the only one who does or even feels like life is the pitts at times.

What if my smile makes a difference? What if my shoulder was the only one helping someone keep the world off of their backs for a few minutes? What if I could actually make a difference in the world by just being there?

One thing I have learned about life in the two decades that I've been alive: It is not EVER fair and it goes by very quickly and the most important lesson of all.....it moves on whether you're ready for it to or not.

Today I'm going to remember that everyone's fighting an inner battle out there. It's not just me...it's everyone.

I'm going to salute a soldier, hug a stranger and love a friend. Are you up for the challenge?

Father's Day

Dear readers,

Summer is here. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the bees are buzzing. It's time to crack open that new bottle of sun screen, resurface that bathing suit and hit the beach.

With the begining of summer also comes one particular day of the year. Father's day.

This year don't forget dad. He's the one who works long hours to take care of his children, puts the finishing touches on those long car rides to exotic vacation spots and never fails to teach his children how to play ball.

He's the one who is sure to protect his little girl from all the young men who hurt her and teach his son how to treat a lady.

We learn the meaning of family, tradition, love and hard work from our father's. This Sunday let's remind our father's of how much they mean to us and how much we admire, adore and love them.

One of the great things about our dad's is that they slave away at work for hours and hours and still find the time to teach us how to do our math homework. They study our history and chemistry homework with us and coach our basketball, football, baseball and hockey teams. They do all of this and never ask for a thank you or even for any recgonition at all. 

Our dad's just do this because they love to do it. And we love them. So let's show it. Let's honor them for one day though they deserve more than just a day.

So here is to all of the father's out there, old and new. Happy Father's Day.

Especially to my own father, the amazing mathmatician, the hard working soul, the history buff and the anatomy wizard....here's to you on father's day. This one is for the coach.

Love

Dear readers,

Have you ever found yourself questioning what love is? How about what it means or how to find it? I have asked myself this as has almost everyone. I had a good friend of mine ask me this today and this is the best way that I can answer her.

Something that I have recently learned in the short time that I have been an "adult" is what the definition of love is. Love in literary terms is known as an "abstraction" in other words, a word that isn't tangible. It's a word that to every person on the planet, is different by definition. We've all tried to define it, understand it, explain it and even tried to "capture" it.

Society will tell you that it cannot be captured, that it cannot be explained, that it cannot be understood and that it cannot be defined.

My answer to this is that I disagree.

Here is what I have learned.

Love is what you make it. It's more than just an emotion. It has to be because when times get tough love doesn't fade, it strengthens and emotions fade, emotions are temporary. Love is something that engolfs the body full circle, it is the strength and power to over come any obstacle that may fall in your path. Love is the instinct to put someone else before yourself. Love is the ability to see only the good within someone, even though the bad is there. Love is the ability to accept someone for who they are as a whole. Love is the feeling of butterflies, motion sickness and an adrenaline rush all in one. Love is so powerful that it can be the answer to any question and the conclusion to any problem. Love is the one thing on this Earth that cannot be broken that if it is truly, honestly, 100% unconditional love.

How can you capture love? That's the easy part.

Watch the elderly couple in the park holding hands. Watch a little brother and sister share an ice cream cone. Pay attention to a single parent daring to raise a child all on their own.

What's my point you may ask?

Well, my point is, love is really easy to find but we all are so focused on the obstacles that fall in our path that we think its so hard to find. Take a minute to look around you. Look for all the little things that people do for one another. I have found that sometimes giving love is much harder than finding it. Love is not love until it is given away.

Don't be afraid to show someone you care. Embrace life with love.

Now here's my question for you.

Have you found love? And if so, what are you going to do about it?

Mother's Day

Dear Readers,

It's that time of year again! The sun is shining, flowers are in bloom and the temperature is perfect...it must be Mother's Day again.

We all get busy in the hustles and bustles of our daily lives and schedules. It's easy to forget to say "thank you" or "I really appreciate what you do" or even "I love you." So, this Mother's Day let's not forget about the women who were there when we needed them the most. Let's not forget the women who take care of us when we are sick, who take care of us when we are upset or who protect us from the world.

Let's not forget about our Mothers this Sunday.

I cannot speak for everyone when I say this but I know that I have the world's best mom. She's always been there when I needed her the most. From a scraped knee to a fever of 101 to a strong shoulder to cry on when I felt like the world was against me....my mom's always been there.

It's too easy to get caught up in little everyday things and forget how wonderful our mothers are. It's too easy to froget how much they put aside for us in order to take care of us and yet we don't always put aside what we're doing for them. It's too easy to forget that most of our mother's work full time and take care of us. Now that's a miracle....TWO full time jobs.

I speak on behalf of my mother when I say that she is superwoman. There isn't anything in this world that can take my mom down.

So, with this being said I dedicate this blog post to my mom. The strongest woman I know. One of the best woman that I know. One of my hero's.

To all of the moms out there I say Happy Mothers Day. Let's make mom feel special this year and REMEMBER all that she does for us. And take the time to say "thank you, I appreciate what you do for me and I love you."

To all of the mothers, new and old, Happy Mothers Day...thank you for doing all that you do.

Final Moment

Dear readers,

Forgive me as I stray away from my usual topic a little bit today.

I must say it has been a long week. I never realized how much a death can affect everyone, even people who are not directly connected to the person.

This week I found myself in a whirlwind of emotions. Anger. Frustration. Sadness. Depression. Anxiety. Just to name a few.

A very dear and close friend of my boyfriends passed away unexpectedly. The hurt and anguish in his eyes alone were enough to bring me to tears. For the first time in my life I felt that gut wrenching pain as well. I've always had sympathy for others when they've lost a loved one but I never truly felt the pain as well.

This time I did. And it hurt. But it also got me thinking.

We all get too comfortable in our every day lives. Routine is a silent killer.....it gets us slowly. Too often we don't dare to go anywhere near the ledge or to doing anything spontaneous.

Why don't we?

Why don't we dare to actually......live?

I have learned this week that life is a gift that starts to run out from the minute we are given it. The clock is always ticking, the sand is always running, the leaves are forever changing.

We don't know when our number is up, when we'll be taken from this Earth, when our final moment will be. We don't know who we will see last, what we will do last, what we will say last.

This idea is a scary one.

With this being said I hope that all of you find what you are looking for. I hope you all dare to step on that ledge, be completely spontaneous, stay up until four in the morning just talking to someone you love, eat ice cream until you feel like you're going to be sick, sing in the shower, star gaze and love unconditionally.

We do not know when we will leave this Earth........why not make our time here worth every second? Why not spread our wings and fly?

I know I'm certainly going to try to see my family more often, do everything on my bucket list and always always end a conversation letting the other know that I love them.

Live everyday like its your last.

What will your final moment be?

I dedicate this blog post to Josh, too young to die but loved by all. RIP and may the Angels lead you in. Gone but never forgotten.

The Gift of Tutoring

Dear Readers,

I encountered something that overjoyed me. I have been tutoring a child with ADHD in English. It has been a struggle with both him and myself.

I enjoy tutoring him for two reasons: 1) It is a challenge for me and 2) I LOVE to watch his growth and progress.

This past week I learned of his rather big improvement. He went from a D to a B in his English course. I was so overcome with joy that there are no words to describe exactly how I felt.

The real story however, begins here. We were sitting in the library trying to focus on the book his class was reading when I over heard another students grunts and groans of aggravation.

This student seemed to be frustrated with the same book as my pupil was. I could tell he was trying to make a point and to understand the plot and theme of the book. With frustration and little success he took a little break from the book and its interpretations.

The child I tutor got up out of his seat and walked over to the boy and put his hand on his shoulder.

"It will be ok, this book is tough. However just think of this when you get stuck: whatever you think is happening in the book probably is happening now....just find your proof to back it up!" He said to the other boy with his arms spread out and his palms facing the cieling and a huge grin on his face.

"If you want you can come sit with us and we can study together. You don't have to if you don't want to but I am sitting right of there in case you decide to." My student pointed in my direction, his pointer finger guiding the other boy. He then walked slowly back to his seat and cracked a smile at me. I smiled back with awe and admiration.

"Ok so what are you thinking for this chapter?" I asked pushing him back into the lesson. Before he could answer me the other boy got out of his seat and walked over to our table and sat down on the oposite side of me.

I watched as my pupil greeted him and said "welcome, glad you decided to join us."

The boy smiled at him and he read the book along with us. I watched the two of them interact and it was a very rewarding experience.

I was amazed when I left the library that night by the scene that I had witnessed. My pupil invited a complete stranger to study with him when he could have just left the boy alone. He offered to help with something in a subject area he is not comfortable in. I know that that had made that boys day.

This world needs more kindness and teamwork like I had witnessed on this day.

I am very proud of my student and I am truly honored that I get to say that I am his tutor.

Debit Card

Dear readers,

I write this blog today with a story that I got from a friend at work. He has experienced some good recently when he lost his debit card.

My friend loves to live life to its fullest. He spends a lot of time hanging out with old friends and new. He is one of those people you cannot help but love.

It was a typical night for my coworker, he was off work and out of class so he decided to go out to a club and have some fun with a good friend of his.

The club was hopping, the music was blaring and it was an awesome time. The evening faded into the wee early hours of the morning--but it was an excellent night full of fun.

When my friend got home he noticed that not only was his debit card missing but so was his drivers liscense. He panicked like any person would and ordered a new debit card with his bank, explaining what had happened. Next step was to take care of the missing drivers liscense.

Two days later in the mail he got a letter from an anonymous person saying that they had found his debit card and drivers liscense and appologized for not sending it more hastily.

My friend was overjoyed and a little shocked by the honesty of this stranger. It would have been so easy to use his debit card or even to leave the card on the ground where they had found it and walk by as if nothing had happened.

Imagine if his card would've fallen into the wrong hands? He could've experienced many problems with his account. His house could've been broken into because of his drivers liscense. The list is rather heavty of the issues that could've occurred. Thankfully, an honest, kind hearted person found his card and ID.

On behalf of my friend I say job well done. I just know that his soup is full of crackers today and so is mine.

Chocolate With Sprinkles

Dear readers,

Today I found myself walking aimlessly through the mall. Window shopping or "wishful thinking" as I like to call it. The only thing I bought was an iced coffee. I really enjoyed that. It was bitter sweet, I loved to take a sip for the beautiful flavor but I hated to take a sip at the same time because then I had to watch thje coffee disappear out of the cup slowly.

After my "wishful thinking" I decided that I had better head back to my car. As I did I passed a woman and her son who must not have been any older than four. It had just started to snow a little and this woman looked as if she was at her wits end. I had guessed that she barely had two dimes to rub together.

"Mommy can I get an ice cream cone?" The little boy asked with a huge grin that spread from ear to ear.

"No, not today. I have just enough for a dress shirt for you." The woman responded with a painful grimace on her face.

The little boy held his head down in disappointment. My heart broke.

I only had the $20 I made from tutoring on me. Well, it was really $15 after I bought the iced coffee. I tapped the woman on the shoulder.

"Excuse me but I just found this on the ground and please forgive me for eavesdropping but I couldn't help but hear that your son would like an ice cream cone. I'd like you to have it."

I held out the rest of my money to her and she stared at me hesitantly for a moment.

"I know you didn't find that on the ground." She said quietly.

I just smiled and said. "You don't have to believe me but I refuse to let you walk away without taking this. Go get ice cream. The two you of you deserve a little treat."

The woman took it from me and smiled. Her eyes welled up with tears. "Thank you." She said, almost inaudable.

I just nodded my head because a lump had formed in my throat as well, and I too was fighting tears.

As I walked away I could hear the little boy say "Mommy why are you crying? We get ice cream now!" The woman responded to her son with "Mommy's just thankful for the nice lady."

The little boy in return replied with "Oh. I'm getting chocolate with sprinkles."

I smiled wide as I walked to my car and put the key in the ignition. I hope they give him a lot of sprinkles.

Walk In Another Mans Shoes

Dear Readers,

Today as I made my usual trip to campus I drove past a man driving a little Ford Focus and I could tell that he was stuck in the snow. I slowed down and got over and applied my brake. I put on my emergency flashers and stepped out of my car.

"Are you alright do you need a cell phone to call anyone? AAA maybe?" I asked the stranger from a little bit of a distance.

"I'll be fine." He snapped back at me. "I can take care of this myself."

I decided to head back to my car. I figured that he was having a rough start to his morning and wasnt speaking out of malice but out of frustration. I turned off my emergency flashers but something told me to stay put. I didn't apply the gas but I did look out my rearview mirror to see the man get angry again and kick the tire of his car.

I cannot be sure but I think I did see a tear or two fall. He stood still a moment and looked over to my car. Then he walked to my window. I cracked it open just enough to hear him speak.

"I'm sorry I was rude to you before. Can I still take you up on your offer to use your phone really quick?"

I nodded and handed him my phone through the crack of the window. He punched in some numbers on my tiny phone and conversed with someone for only a few moments on the other line.

"My wife is on her way to get me and drive me to work. She's going to get this to the shop for me. Thank you so much for your help. Again I am sorry. It's just been a rough few days." He said and I could tell that he meant every word.

"No problem." I said as I grabbed my phone from him. "Just know that things will get better. No matter how rough they look now, things will perk up."

He looked at me for a second and then smiled and said "Yeah you've already proven to me that things can and will get better at any give moment." He then waved to me and walked away.

I rolled my window up and got on my way to school again.

Today I realized that we don't know what kind of a battle someone is going through. Not until we put ourselves in their position at least. And yet we are all so quick to judge others, to assume, to criticize. What if instead of doing that we just took a minute to find out the truth, to find out the deeper meaning behind everying?

I know that it will be hard for me to forget today and the lesson that came with it. Let's all "walk a mile in another mans shoes" before we judge.

After all, wouldn't we want someone to know exactly how we feel and what we're going through before judging us?